Forget about making a New Year’s Resolutions if you’re hoping for a successful outcome. Most aren’t worth the paper they’re written on.
The biggest majority of New Year’s Resolutions have gone by the wayside before January is over and most won’t even be remembered three months later. Unused gym memberships, most people are excited and determined when they start and over do it. Then they hit reality called “pain”, from over doing on the first visit. But they go back, and work even harder at it, and then more pain. They are not in current reality about what it will take to make this change, so sadly they quit.
Let me explain; most people are not in what I refer to as CR (current reality)
Behavioural change in an individual takes place at the “other than conscious level”. Most people don’t change consciously, they respond to the circumstances in their life and then they make plans or take actions to change.
Most people are unaware that they resist change; however, if you have ever said “I’m going to change this…” and subsequently found that you couldn’t, it was probably because you were NOT in CR (current reality).
But, a sudden dose of “reality” triggers focus and energy to make change happen. You have may have seen this in friends or family members, suddenly changing in response to, say, a heart attack. They go on an exercise routine, lose weight, reduce the stress in their life. In response to the reality of possible death. Sometimes it can be the loss of a partner or close friend or they lose their job. The sudden dose of “current reality” triggers change, they lose weight, go back to school or make new friends.
Does the sudden shock of reality always cause change, no! I have seen and coached people whom would not “accept” the reality in front of them. A good and dear friend who would not quit smoking, lose weight and start exercising after being warned by his doctor. Even when in hospital for a mild heart attack, he still smoked, later that week after being released from the hospital he died of a massive heart attack!
It Takes Work!
To tell myself the truth takes work. Getting to the point of ‘living in current reality’ requires work and yet the reward is clarity, peace of mind and the release of energy and joy.
When I am in current reality, I am authentic, and I willingly show up in the world. This means that I express who I am, and I am mentally and emotionally present. I belong to my world and I relate to the actual state of things, rather than to an idealistic or notional idea of them. I stay out of unrealistic expectations of others and myself.
This does not mean excluding all things spiritual or divine. Nor does it mean giving up on my dreams or relinquishing my faith. It means creating what I want with presence of mind, which greatly enhances my ability to be present and have what I say I truly want.
But why do I have to be in current reality before I can create what I want? Let me answer by asking, “What is the most important part of any journey?” The most common answer to this question is, “knowing the destination”.
While this is important, I suggest that knowing where you “currently are”, is the most important, for this will help you determine what steps you need to take next in order to reach your destination.
Happy New Year, may it be filled with love and peace, Geoffrey.