As I read about the Harvey Weinstein’s and Bill Cosby’s of the world I truly feel sick, it is a tangible feeling in my stomach I want to vomit. I am angry these men who thought it was ok that their fame and power was an opportunity to abuse women.

I am angry that these sick souls are tarnishing men everywhere. Millions of hard-working honest and respectful men are lost in this stench of sexual predators, manipulators and power-hungry weak-minded slobs. It confuses and creates distrust of all men and has every woman wondering if the men they know are like these sick predators.

What Can We Do?

Those of us who respect, love and care for women; do we need to wear a sign saying, “I’m not one of them”! I believe this is part of the ongoing crisis in defining the meaning of “masculinity”, in today’s world, recognizing that women are people first and are equal partners in the world. I ask all men to step up and take a new role in society and to show up as genuine people free from stereo types.

What Makes A Good Man?

But where do we find the role models? This is a difficult time for both men and women, as women take their rightful place as co-creators of the world, many of both sex’s will and do resist this needed change. Many males feel challenged, unsure and don’t know what to do next and are looking for role models worthy of listening to and following.

In many advertisements on television the male is now often portrayed as the stupid one, and the woman is rescuing him. Or, a driving a luxury car at high speeds while looking cool and handsome. Women have been on the other end of this advertising onslaught for decades, however it is a new phenomenon for men and they don’t know how to cope and many feels emasculated and angry.

Sacrificing for one’s own needs and desires for your wife and children was once considered honorable. My father was in the RAF during WW11 and then took a job to support the family which he stayed in for most of his life, it was considered honorable and the right thing to do. Many of the traditional manufacturing physical and masculine jobs have disappeared. Sacrificing one’s body and health in a coal mine in order to feed a family is no longer considered honorable.

So, where are the role models for men today, is it the over-the-top behavior exhibited by the leader of the free world? A twitter maniac bringing insecurity to millions daily, who demonstrates the worst of male corrupted competition and dominance.

Sports in the past have often produced amazing examples for men to follow. But the drive to “win at all costs”, show that some men are willing to sacrifice their bodies and their minds to get the win for their own ego. Or to take drugs to enhance themselves only to leave a sport with a brocken body and perhaps as a drug addict.

When the NFL pays lip service about banning men who beat and abuse their partners it is confusing, I ask how can you cheer for a guy on your team is known to beat up his girlfriend? And given women are major supporters of the NFL (45%), this is confusing to me, what? aren’t they speaking up?

 It is very confusing times for men and women and many questions need to be asked on what is “modern masculinity” and “modern feminity” , can we be masculine and allow for and include femininity and all of its power?”

I believe there are more questions to be asked, then there are solutions right now.

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