Murder is not an option; when working from home

The Coronavirus pandemic has already created high levels of stress in most people, this gets amplified when you have to share home space as office space with your spouse or friend. Spending time with friends and family is normally a way for couples to deflect stress, but now you are losing that space, sharing that space.

Think of stress like water filling up a can, with the pandemic your stress level is likely to be at almost the top of the can. And, then you get to work in a space that normally you relax and with someone else! It’s easy to see why we can become frustrated even to the point of murder – am I joking? I was speaking to her friend and he said, “I could kill her”. By the way murder is not an option as it has long-term consequences (LOL) so here are some communication tips.

The News.

Agree to gather the news at specific times and definitely do not keep the television on in the background for the latest updates. It is better to read the news than watch it on the television. When you read you have an opportunity to interpret and evaluate the news, when you watch it a goes straight to your emotional center and will increase your stress.

Just Listen.

If your partner or your friends have a different feeling about the news, just listen and acknowledge do not criticize or put it down, as that will only push up the anxiety and stress. Just listen. ‘I can see how stressful this is, I know you are worried, how can I help you?’ now just listen.

Speak Up & Catch Up

Always let your partner know what is going on with you, schedule your coffee breaks together and catch up. Just the same as you would after work, take some time to catch up at the end of your workday.

This & That

To avoid conflict while working at home establish boundaries and expectations. Who is going to be in which room and when? How will you know when not to disrupt each other? What are the important deadlines you are currently working on? Make a sign for a no-disturbance zone from this hour to this hour. Online calls or meeting, one person take the even hours and the other the odd hours.

Be Normal.

When you get ready for work you have routine, everyone has a different but habitual routine. The same is true about days off! I follow a different routine as I work from home, than my spouse; when she is going into the office: she wakes up, takes a shower, drinks coffee, eats breakfast and then dressed gets off to work. The big difference is that I don’t have a commute so, I take more time in the morning. Now your routines can conflict – surprise recommendation – keep your routines. It sets you up to work together and give a sense of normality, this sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Tea Time

Routines are especially important to reduce stress, because my spouse normally works in an office, we established “Tea Time”  when she arrives home. We have a cup of tea together and catch up about our day. It gives us space to talk about work and get ‘home’ but now that we are both working from ‘home’ we still do this to let go of any ‘stuff’ from the day together so that we can be together at home.

This To Will Pass

When the pandemic is over, yes it will be over, what will your experience have been? Hopefully it will be you have more intimacy, a stronger bond and a great relationship.

We are all in this together, love and peace Geoffrey

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